THE Christmas tree

with 2 drunken housemate(notice german beer and wine bottles on tabel, and the very merry faces!!!)

Ah yes, dinner at Hilton and this is Kate!  I'm quite well known with my coffee cafe obsession so got a cafetiere and coffe and dark choc and mugs from her

Me and my vice!Charles and Santa Neeraj

Jo, myself and Margaret

As for me here, it's been the busiest semester in the entire history of education in my life.  Despite not having to deal with the stress of exams this semester, they must've foreseen the reasons to not have them.  There are lots of other things to sort out like the self proposed student selected component(SPSSC) which will be in Miri in February, fourth year project(mine will be on mothers and breastfeeding) and also the dear, dear ol' chaotic Catholic society.

And believe me, exams stress could probably murder me.

This year seems to be flying pass very very quickly and I believe the same is so on your side?  Life certainly seems to reveal itself so much better as time goes on--Thank You God, He's there for us to hold on to when things are just to hard to grasp...yikes!

A 2nd-cousin of mine, Eva, will be visiting me here soon with her mom as she had just finished her SPM.  I'm not sure what will I be doing to entertain her during her time here, im not even entirely sure if i have all the time to do that..but we'll see--hopefully she'll enjoy her 2.5 months here in scotland. 

Last sunday we had an Advent Celebration a.k.a. Christmas party for the Catholic Society in our house and it was great as we had many ppl  not just from the Society itself but close friends of everyone else.  There was also a Secret Santa whom Neeraj(a flatmate's boyfriend) has done a good job being a Santa.  Then this year having a new Chaplain and all, we had both priests there and it was hilarious as Fr Aldo put a softer touch (by trying to me me wedded to Fr.steven while cutting the Christmas Pudding together) to the party while Fr. Steven actually pranced around the room with everyone else as he was slightly tipsy=op.

Last sunday however was the University Carol Service where Christmas Carols and 9 lessons(readings from the bible) were respectively, sung and read.  (This is where I'm very fortunate and it was an experience to remember).  I think being the CatSoc's president entitled me to a few privileges only my post would get me, e.g: i got to do a reading in the beautiful service:they were about 500 candle lighted in the darkness of and Advent sunday in a service with the University Chamber Choir singing in it.  And not everyone got to do the reading as the only 3 students amongst Professors and Head of Departments; myself, the Christian Union Prsident and the President of the Student Association.  But the best is yet to come.

I had 2 weeks earlier received an email invitation to a dinner reception for after the Carol Service at the Sir Alan Langlands(Principal of the University) Residence, and it said:

"You(and partner) are invited to a special dinner reception...."

I realise that it gives a tinge of maturity in my 'marital' status, however in the end I decided to invite someone preferably male, which works quite well with me anyway as all my female office-bearers are either busy with exams or had work to commit to.  Which leaves either Charles or Barry.  Within 2 days time Barry and I finally had an official engagement in our diaries.

We arrived at the University House mansion, me in my suit and Barry without his necktie which he later regretted.  The door flung open by the 'maid' and out coats were taken off our backs as we were showed the drawing room(don't ask me why it's called the drawing room) where everyone else had gathered and soon enough red wine was poured into the sparkling crystal wine galss I had in my hand.  What was it like, to be brushing shoulders with hotshots in the University and of the local dioceses.  Of all the 30 odd guests who were there, only 6 were students and the rest of them witout a doubt had grey hairs and a twinkling smiles on their faces as everyone got speaking.  Soon enough, the Principal turned my way and greeted me by MY NAME!

"Hello Kaleena, welcome to our house..."  And not only that, his wife, Lady Elizabeth left her group of fans and waded to our spot and introduced herself.  Like a switched being flicked on, I automatically spoke on and on getting the rather 'superficial' conversation going for quite a while as i asked, among other things, the Principal's role in the university and his responsibilities. 

Barry later said that had I versed the question differently, I would have put myself in hot water as if saying "So, exactly what is it that you do in the university??", but thank goodness I had enough grace at the time to versed it out rather politely.    And the best thing is, he said that I seem rather good at this meet-and-greet thing--a posh socialite to say the least.

And at the dinner table we were seated separated from the other 4 students and sat between the Provost Rt Rev Miriam of the Episcopal Church and her husband, Hamish Good.  Mr Good fortunately for Barry was an older  and wiser version of the forever cynical and snideful Barry.

Enough of that I must say, it was an experience of the more posh side of the University-hardly ever seen.  It was nice, but it wasn't forever.  It was a privilege, but it was a treasure, as such.

Last night we were at the Caird hall watching a musical called *Luv Esther.  Basically it is the Catsoc activity for the week, and that means nothing's on this wednesday.  I guess it's kind of a good thing, to not have anything on wedsnesdays occasionally.  It kind of clears the rest of the week really.  But the show is basically a more modern and new age presentation of Queen Esther, one of the biblical female models; this one in particular is a bit more grandiose than the rest being married to 'The' persian king at the time, but then not realising what she's actually in for.   And as the story goes, she gave up her life for the Jews of the time, but not actually dying in the end.

I never thought about her story much to be perfectly honest, but the way it was presented last night in lots of artistic though slightly raunchy dances and especially how it highlighted a few important points:

1.  Maybe you have been called into the kingdom for a time such as this...

2.  Difference..difference...dangerous...destroy...destruction

3.  In the sweet end, she managed to saved the Jews lives at the time, and thats one nation at that moment in time.  so what happens to the rest? 

I suppose it's one of those things where you have to be there to know what I'm talking about.  It is quite hard to reproduce the same thoughtfulness through mere words.  But just to point out that I never thought Queen Esther has 'that' much of a significance.

Before the show, we had dinner at Jimmy Chung's Chinese Buffet.  Both Fr. Aldo and Fr. Steven were present and it was a moment as never before seeing both priest of different generations slagging each other off.  I seem to be having lots of Chinese/Asian food these days, and strangely they've been prepared by non-asians(except at Jim Chung's of course).  Barry made Pad Thai and Sweet Sour chicken and thai Curry in the past 3 weeks, and I've been practising on my mom's handed down chicken curry recipe.  It seemed to be getting good reviews from them all, either its good or ppl are just being nice--who knows?  I'm not really good at this, i seem to find it difficult to take things personally at face value.  But Kerry and I are once again planning a joint diiner with Nikolas and James--maybe in 2 weeks time.  I might hvae to make the same chicken(turkey--cheaper!) curry again!

The Christmas season is dosing in pretty fast, --last year it didn't felt to be as quick as this year.  Strange how although as last year our one and only exams would only take place at the end of May 2006, the stress has been ringing it's way into everyone's ears...there's always a worry about it at the back of my mind. 

Bad news, the temperature has dropped from it's normal quite drastically as well.  During the day it's from about 7*C-11*C, while going down even further during the nights.  Not only that, the wind has also been Gale-like in recent days.  And to top that, as usual it's predicted to be a very snowy winter.  My aunty Jenny and cousin Eva from miri are planning to come over during those months which i find quite amusing.. but i suppose it shall then be a new experience.  How unfortunate that I don't think I'll be able to spend Christnas with them this year and not even with my family back in Miri.  that'll be the 5th Christmas away form home!

Sometime when I think of how things are at home, a startling realisation of how diffrent things are just overwhelms me.  A year and a half away from home isn't that long but from what I'm guessing and seeing now---it's one of those period in life where ppl start rebuilding and reshaping thier lives again making new commitments  and this time a long term one as the settling in period begins.  That also directly means leaving me here in the midst of all the process where I tend to have locals things bulid around me.  Basically my family and friends are here with me in Dundee.  Not at all to mean that I've forgotten my own real family  back home in malysia butreally based on the love and trust that i seem to have been so lucky to find in luckily enough, quite

Patients with complete paralysis, or locked-in syndrome, spend life mute. Often these conscious individuals are unable to relay even their most basic wishes because they have lost all muscle control. Now years of research on animals and humans is leading to the development of imaginative communication strategies for these patients. Several techniques that bypass the muscles and gain power directly from the brain are under investigation.

We might scream, point, nod, whisper, shrug, jabber, smile, dictate or email in order to relay information to the world. But people with complete paralysis, or locked-in syndrome, don't have these options. In fact, they often don't have any reliable communication options. Their normally functioning brains may wish to express a sentiment, but their muscles are deaf to the orders. They can't control their limbs to gesture or type and they can't control their mouths to speak.
      Now years of basic science and technological research may pay off for these isolated patients. Scientists are investigating several creative computer-based communication strategies that appear to bypass the muscles and receive commands directly from the brain.

The advances are leading to:

• imaginative communication methods.
• Insights into how technology can aid medical progress.

      Locked-in syndrome can result from a stroke or injury. Neurological ailments, such as Lou Gehrig's disease, also are culprits.
      The damage from the condition or injury blocks the message transmission path that initiates voluntary movement. Normally, a series of electrical impulses pass from brain cells along nerves to trigger the release of chemical messages, which eventually signal the muscles to move. Most or all of the muscles in locked-in patients never receive the messages. Some patients have a few spared muscles in areas such as the eyes. Computer programs occasionally aid their communication by detecting the remnant muscle movement, but often the muscles are difficult to control or easily tire.
      For decades it seemed beyond science's reach to help these patients. But then researchers began to investigate a long shot idea. Maybe they could bypass the muscles and power computer communication devices directly from the brain. Following years of research, the strategy, reminiscent of a science fiction movie, is now starting to show promise in real life.
      One variation involves an electrode that is implanted in the brain and picks up electrical impulse activity directly from a small number of brain cells, as found in studies of rats, monkeys and humans (see illustration). The activity or "thought" is transmitted to a translating software system designed to control a computer cursor and produce speech. An implanted patient, paralyzed from a stroke, recently appeared to show some success following hours of training. The patient can manipulate the cursor to slowly spell his name as well as activate icons that represent phrases of speech such as "See you later. Good talking with you."
      Other researchers are developing an electrode system that they hope will pick up electrical impulses from large numbers of brain cells. Plans are underway to test the system in monkeys.
      Several research groups also are studying nonsurgical techniques that indirectly pick up brain activity from outside the brain. This strategy relies on electrodes placed on the scalp that detect specific variations in the chatter of electric impulses elicited by large numbers of brain cells. One group trained four patients with locked-in syndrome from Lou Gehrig's disease to compose messages with a computerized spelling device. Following hundreds of training sessions, the patients learned to produce a certain electric impulse variation. A translating system then allowed them to slowly select letters on a computer screen by initiating the signal. Currently, the generation of a character takes about 30 seconds. One patient completed a letter in four hours.
      Researchers hope that adjustments in training and technology will improve and speed up these thought-capturing techniques, providing a useful communication option for locked-in patients.
      And you thought email was high-tech.

A group of researchers are trying to help patients with complete paralysis, or locked-in syndrome, communicate by directly connecting a computer to the motor cortex of the brain, which is vital for movement. Ideally, the patient's functioning brain cells grow into the glass cone of an implanted electrode that contains special growth-promoting molecules. Then the electrode detects, amplifies and transmits to a computer the activity of the brain cells that grow into the cone. The computer translates the signals into cursor movements that produce speech.

Illustration by Lydia Kibiuk, Copyright © 1999 Lydia Kibiuk.

There's so much to be thankful for, yet I find it harder and harder to make space for a special time for God.  It's quite irritating running around doing what needs to be done when there's this tugging feeling in my heart which calls out to me asking me to be silent and still. 

Based on worldly measurement of significance, this is not.  But based on God's way of measuring, this is it.

I can't hardly feel myself slowing down to breathe carefully when there's so much to be done.  We've only just started the third year but already we have to arrange for our fourth year project.  That's quite a long way to go but the book of protocol is seemingly just as thick as the Bible.  On a shorter term, the SPSSC proposal deadline is in 4 weeks, and I'm not any closer to it than I was 4 weeks ago.  OH well.

But amidst the hectic and hectic schedule, God never fails to knock on the door or our hearts(in this case, to ring the doorbell to 42 Wilkies Lane!).  Last night was another Catsoc meeting and it went on unexpectedly well, especially for something we've only just started.

The evening started with a short Mass, then the usual tea and coffee or wine, in my case!  Alcoholic I am now...), alongside Lisa's highly decorative and delicious homemade shortbread while Nathalie arrived at the door.  Her talk started with a testimony of herself then a really brief meditation on one short but strong story from the New Testament.

This is it, testimonies are always always undermined by the young people of today; saying why bother about others when being with God is a personal experience when sharing isn't exactly relevant.  It's always inspiring to see someone, especially of my age(and bound to get married by Christmas!!!) so motivated to share her knowledge and experiences about God.  I think everyone in the room(except maybe Fr. Steve) suddenly realise how much there is to be kown about this amazing Guy who knows our inside out yet loves us so much.  That during the first few seconds of meditation, Mary Frances was somehow so touched she had to leave the room. 

Personally I feel a silent beating to myself.  2 weekends ago Charles, Mary frances and yours truly sat at Starbucks after Mass trying to come up with more things for the Catsoc.  For obvious reasons concerning the Bishop we sidetracked talking about the faults of the Church and what we didn't agree on.  To be more specific, Confession and the Sacrament of reconciliation.  If you ask me, I never saw how they're significant or why anyone would want to go for confession.  But Nathalie spoke briefly yet strongly about it and it was as if God was answering our questions--- which I'm sure, had it been left hanging and unanswered would have the potential to lead us away.  And Mary had been so strong about some of the things which is probably why she felt the most.

The Catsoc seems to be doing well, although admittedly we could do alot better with more people.  Further plans would be to include students from Abertay Dundee Uni as their Catsoc is nonexistent (almost happend to us!!!) this year.  But I don't think I could ever ask for a better team in the Catsoc; everyone with their own speciality. Lisa has the Kitchen and food as her turf of speciality, Charles and his diplomatic and 'lawyer-ly' ways, Neeraj with speciality in technicality and resourcefulness, Mary to give me a hand making plans and giving orders(, not quite..I'd rather say I take care of em 'ol), and everyone else with their amazing co-operativity to give a hand whenever needed!  If you ask me, it's been hand-picked by God.